{"product_id":"death-certificates","title":"Death Certificates","description":"\u003cp\u003eThese aren't death certificates for people. They're death certificates for the things in life that have officially had enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach satirical Certificate of Death takes something that has reached its end and gives it the unnecessarily official paperwork it deserves. Each certificate has its own original wording and dark humor designed around the occasion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery certificate is designed by me and printed on sturdy 80 lb cardstock. It is presented with a clear plastic protective front and a black poly back, then held together with a metal clip for a finished archival-style look. The clip has a hole at the top, so the certificate can also be hung for display.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach certificate is finished with a handmade red wax seal featuring a skeleton hand holding a rose. The standard seal is left in its original wax finish, or you can choose to have the raised details individually painted with gold accents. Because the wax seals are handmade, slight differences in shape, texture, placement, and impression are normal and make each piece slightly different. Gold-accented seals are painted by hand and will also have natural variations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThese make unusual dark humor gifts for graduations, weddings, divorces and breakups, retirements, leaving a job, coworkers, friends, birthdays, or anyone whose patience has officially expired.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePlease note that these are satirical novelty certificates created for humor, decoration, and entertainment only. They are not legal documents, government records, official certificates, or substitutes for any legal or official documentation. The designs intentionally use fictional and humorous wording and are not issued by or affiliated with any government agency.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cohen's Curiosity Shop","offers":[{"title":"Academic \/ Red","offer_id":53778189025643,"sku":null,"price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Academic \/ Red w\/ Gold Accents","offer_id":53778189058411,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Single Life \/ Red","offer_id":53778189091179,"sku":null,"price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Single Life \/ Red w\/ Gold Accents","offer_id":53778189123947,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Employment \/ Red","offer_id":53778189156715,"sku":null,"price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Employment \/ Red w\/ Gold Accents","offer_id":53778189189483,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Patience \/ Red","offer_id":53778189222251,"sku":null,"price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Patience \/ Red w\/ Gold Accents","offer_id":53778189255019,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Relationship \/ Red","offer_id":53778189287787,"sku":null,"price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Relationship \/ Red w\/ Gold Accents","offer_id":53778189320555,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Murder Mystery \/ Red","offer_id":53778189353323,"sku":null,"price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Murder Mystery \/ Red w\/ Gold Accents","offer_id":53778189386091,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1006\/2698\/9419\/files\/IMG_5155.jpg?v=1787873369","url":"https:\/\/cohenscuriosityshop.com\/products\/death-certificates","provider":"Cohen's Curiosity Shop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}